3 Comebacks when People Blank Your Partner

Last week we took our pup to the vet after she had a vomiting spell. We were both seriously concerned fur-parents and made the trek to the vet together, just so we could both get the information first hand. Sitting in the office, the vet had to rush off for an emergency, and we held hands as we watched a red-eyed family go to the back room. Eventually the vet came back into our consult room, and we were both on the edge of our seat, hoping to get some answers for our own furbaby.

And then the vet started the consult – except she didn’t make eye contact with Homeboy once. She didn’t speak to him, she didn’t ask him for information, she didn’t acknowledge his presence. Homeboy fully got blanked by the vet.

Sometimes it’s a race thing, sometimes it’s a gender thing, other times it’s a language thing. Whatever it is, we’ve experienced ‘blanking’ (the erasure of one of us from a conversation with someone) quite a few times. And as the white gal in this relationship, frustratingly it’s often Homeboy who gets blanked.

So here are a 3 of my go-to comebacks in my repertoire to bring Homeboy back into the conversation…

The Politician

A politician knows their talking points and will stick to those points, no matter where the conversation goes.

The politician comeback goes a little something like “if you’ll just let me interrupt you there, I’d be interested to hear what Homeboy has to say on this.”

In other words “if you’ll just shut the f-up, there’s someone else here with a valid opinion you need to hear.”

The Psychic

A psychic can connect with dimensions that others can’t see. They bring messages from the other side.

The psychic comeback goes a little something like “Hmm… yes… I seem to recall Homeboy mentioning something like that just the other day. Homeboy, is that correct?”

In other words “Hmm… yes… you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed – remember there’s another person that’s here?!?!”

The Weather Reporter

A weather reporter will often broadcast live from an outdoor location, and then hand back to the news anchors in the studio with something like “over to you.

The weather reporter comeback goes a little something like “thanks for that question, I’m not sure though. Homeboy, what are your thoughts?”

In other words “I dunno mole, how about asking the guy who would know?!”

And with those sweet, sweet comebacks, the blanker is forced to engage with the blankee.

Is ‘blanking’ a thing that happens in your day-to-day life? Do you have some go-to comebacks we could add to the repertoire?

P.S. Our dog is all fine, it just turned out she had a reaction to the pain killers after her desexing surgery. She got a $60 anti-nausea injection and she was right as rain.

P.P.S. Vets have a seriously good money making scheme going on. #unsuspectingmillionaires

 

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  • Tanya

    January 8, 2018 at 10:51 am
    Reply

    Can't say this happens as often with us but it certainly has happened before. Some good responses there! Nice to come across your web site […] Read MoreCan't say this happens as often with us but it certainly has happened before. Some good responses there! Nice to come across your web site look forward to reading more of your journey. Tanya - The White Punjabi Bride www.thewhitepunjabibride.com Read Less

  • Puzzled Pilgrim

    September 11, 2017 at 1:22 pm
    Reply

    Oh my goodness, I had no idea I needed to read this. We don't get this kind of behavior that often but I expect it […] Read MoreOh my goodness, I had no idea I needed to read this. We don't get this kind of behavior that often but I expect it to happen in the future when we move back to the USA. These are great tips. I've always felt myself bracing for this. I guess it does happen more often when we go to hotels or upscale restaurants here in Indonesia. More often the problem is that everyone assumes from the outside that my husband is my local tour guide and I'm on vacation. *sigh* Read Less

    • statdeclife
      to Puzzled Pilgrim

      September 25, 2017 at 10:55 am
      Reply

      You're so right, the assumptions of people depend on the context. It's certainly something that happens in Australia because we live in a place that […] Read MoreYou're so right, the assumptions of people depend on the context. It's certainly something that happens in Australia because we live in a place that is still really white. I think it wouldn't happen so much if we were somewhere like Melbourne or Sydney. In Asia I tended to feel it happen to me when I was the only female in the room... It's all fun and games either way :-) Read Less

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